Playing on food emotions

I wrote the following for Michele Payn-Knoper's book No More Food Fights. I was thrilled to share how my experience talking to non-farmers has changed over the years. Learn more about the book and MPK's services by visiting http://www.causematters.com/farmfoodbook/. 

Like it or not, food is an emotional subject for many people. It can bring happiness and fond memories, but can also quite easily cause fear. Good or bad, a lot of people wanting to share information about food like to play on these emotions. Whether or not a person will internalize or act on the information they receive depends a lot on their individual experiences. Realizing that we don’t all think about food the same way was my breakthrough moment, and it significantly altered my approach to having food conversations.

I have worked in agricultural business for 15 years. For the longest time, I knew all the “right” things to say and found myself getting extremely frustrated when someone had an alternate opinion. One of my earliest memories of a food conversation happened on an airplane. I sat next to a woman who said she only purchased organic eggs. Unfortunately, I remember responding with some form of “that’s stupid” and people began to stare because my voice continued to get louder and louder.

Fast forward to a conversation 14 years later, I am again sitting on an airplane. I discover that the woman beside me shares my love for fashion and shoes, and I eventually find a way to drop in that I love my job working for farmers (yes, I definitely have a passion for what I do). She was then quick to tell me that she was a vegan. I didn’t get mad, and I didn’t jump to the conclusion that she had a mental disorder for not embracing my meat-eating culture.

We continued to have meaningful conversation. I learned that she grew up on a grain and beef cattle farm, but adopted her behaviors at a very young age because of her love for animals. I learned that she had friends who had serious health problems that doctors related to eating too much meat. I also learned that many vegans are careful to label their eating habits because other vegans are watching very closely and will be quick to call them on their mistakes. In the end she still told me she loved my leather shoes. I figured out that this was not the time to question someone’s eating habits. She had very personal reasons for making those choices. She was not quoting me facts she had heard, just sharing her experiences.

Today, I critically think about why there are so many differing opinions about food. I never make assumptions, and I ask questions instead of talking AT people. I also rarely lead my questions with “why” because it puts many people on the defensive if they think I am questioning their judgment. Once the conversation starts to move along, I start to share my experiences and make it clear that I feel a certain way because of my experiences. This opens so many doors for people to ask me questions, and many of those questions start with “why,” which I am glad to answer.

In the end, there may still be people who want to be vegans, or only buy organic, or continue to make daily trips to their favorite fast food restaurant. Our food system can meet all of these desires. I no longer believe it is my mission to change behaviors, but to just share some of my knowledge of agriculture and what farmers are doing. My daily goal is to erase fear one may have about food and hope that decisions will be made with a bit of understanding.